J.D. Moyer

sci-fi writer, beat maker, self-experimenter

Author: J.D. Moyer (Page 1 of 58)

Emotional Labor and Invisible Household Work – A Male Perspective

I recently read Gemma Hartley’s piece Stop Calling Women Nags–We’re Just Fed Up in Bazaar. Hartley’s article about emotional labor and the unacknowledged work many women do in terms of managing household relationships, logistics, and schedules has been widely read and shared in recent weeks, with many couples reporting breakthrough conversations with their partners regarding the division of labor and responsibilities.

In short, many women end up managing a household by default, and are frustrated when men offer to “help” because why is it their job to manage the household in the first place? While some couples consciously choose to divide labor into “earner” and “household manager,” in many cases women end up getting stuck with both earning and primary household management roles, and that can lead to a great deal of resentment.

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How Do We Reduce Young White Male Entitlement?

Recently I listened to an episode of This American Life entitled “White Haze” about various Alt-Right and Alt-Lite movements, and the Venn diagrams of belief systems that may or may not include men’s rights, reclaiming traditional masculinity, abstaining from masturbation, anti-PC/SJW, keeping women out of the workforce, opposing non-white immigration, drinking beer together, anti-Semitism, white nationalism, casual racism, and full-blown white supremacy.

My impression was that for many members of these white male conservative groups, the main emotional issue was a sense of entitlement, manifesting as resentment and finger-pointing if such things as girlfriend, job, wealth, and status didn’t easily materialize. That, and an imagined sense of cultural oppression by liberals and feminists (though specific examples of how exactly white men are oppressed are elusive).

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Gastritis Healing Tips

For the past few months I’ve been dealing with gastritis and gastric pain, which has put a real dent in my mood, productivity, and general quality of life. I’m recovering, slowly, but this is one of the tougher health challenges I’ve faced.

My gastritis started after a “tummy bug” … some kind of viral or bacterial infection. The more acute symptoms resolved after a few weeks, but despite dietary changes (giving up coffee, booze, and spicy food), I was left with nagging gastric pain. The pain was rarely severe, but it was constant enough to be distracting. My mood worsened, my anxiety increased, and my sleep was often interrupted by burning or even stabbing sensations in my stomach. I tried a number of natural remedies (including turmeric and black seed, both of which have traditionally been used to treat gastritis and ulcers), but nothing was helping much. I’d had similar bouts of stomach pain after a stomach bug in the past, but they’d resolved on their own within a couple weeks, and the pain hadn’t kept me up at night. Time to see the doc’.

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Eyes On The Prize: My Current Vision for a Messy Utopia

These days, reading the national news is like watching a whirlwind of shit in high definition.

Emboldened white supremacists, the orange racist-in-chief, plans for an expensive useless wall, a government actively working to roll back environmental protections of every kind. Not to mention the very real possibility of nuclear war.

So I’m writing this post to remind myself what kind of world I’d like to live in. What kind of policies I’d like to see in place, in a more sane world.

I don’t believe in the pursuit of perfect utopias. Reaching that high is like flying too close to the sun. You have to start with a clean slate to build a perfect society, which means destroying everyone and everything and starting over. Which has been tried, several times in history, and generally ends in mass starvation and/or genocide. So no thanks.

The alternative is a messy utopia, one that builds on pretty good systems that already exists, one that takes a more-or-less empirical approach to solving problems, and one that doesn’t require perfect moral behavior on the part of its citizens. I’ve written in more detail about this idea here.

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Music Update: Three New Releases, Still In The Game

Arturia V collection (emulated, in my Macbook)

I’ve always hesitated to call myself a musician, composer, or even music producer. I can find the keys on a keyboard the match the melody in my head, but mostly I make beats, basslines, and sculpt sound with digital waveform transformations and effects. Sometimes I work alone, sometimes with a friend next to me. I like working both ways, the former to dig in and get work done, the latter to get out of my own head and expand the canvas–two minds are usually better than one.

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Goals Are Falling Like Dominoes

Regular readers of this blog will know that my journey toward becoming a published writer (and hopefully soon a published novelist) has been one of endurance and perseverance rather than overnight success. In other words, a bit of a slog.

Just like every other writer in the history of the world. At least 99.9% of us.

That said, in the last few months, good fortune has smiled on me. Or the hard work has paid off. Or a little of both.

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