sci-fi author, beatmaker

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A Few Things I’ve Learned in My Forties


Getting older doesn’t automatically make you wiser, but there’s more experience to draw on. One theory suggests that this is why we appear to think more slowly as we age–the dataset is bigger but the processor speed is the same.

Sign me up for cybernetic processor enhancement.

Forties (mid, edging into late) is still youngish, and I feel young, despite more than a few gray whiskers in my beard. As long as I eat my berries, anyway. 100% foraged, either from my backyard or the shelves of Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods.

Here are a few of my hard-earned wisdom nuggets from the last few years, for your entertainment (and possibly +1 to your WIS score).

2015 Year-End Review

Momu Mobile Studio Unit -- one of many 2015 highlights.

Momu Mobile Studio Unit — one of many 2015 highlights.

This weekend I completed my first personal year-end review. Since I don’t have an employer, it’s up to me to evaluate my own performance and look for ways to improve. Celestine Chua’s year-end review questions resonated with me, so I used those as a template:

  1. What were your biggest accomplishments this year? (results you are proud of)
  2. What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned this year?
  3. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with how you spent the year? Why?

Chua’s review also included questions for the year ahead:

  1. What do you want to accomplish next year, such that it’s your best year ever?
  2. What new habits can you cultivate that will help you to achieve your goals?
  3. What are your immediate next steps to achieve these goals?

Completing the first part of the exercise provided me with an opportunity to review the year’s major events. I was surprised by how much happened and how much I did in 2015. It was good to both appreciate successes and to reflect on failures. Projects that didn’t go as well as I hoped they would — in hindsight the reasons why were clear. But if I hadn’t taken the time to look back and consider what happened, those lessons would have been lost on me. I would have been left with the vague feeling of “Well, I guess that didn’t work out.”

In terms of my successes, it was good to take time to appreciate those. I feel confident going into 2016 after considering the positive results of 2015. It’s easy to underplay your successes in life and to only give attention to problems and failures. But it’s helpful to take some pride in your accomplishments. Sometimes nobody else gives you credit, and you’re the only one who knows how hard you had to work to get the job done. This is especially true for less glamorous tasks like helping family members, staying in shape, and repairing the roof.

Maximizer Update

A couple months ago I wrote about how I was going to “join the maximizers” in certain aspects of my life, meaning I would attempt to raise my standards, push harder towards my goals, and trade some of my leisure time for productivity and “push” time.

As part of my year-end review I considered some recent changes I’d made along these lines, and evaluated if I wanted to carry them forward.

Looking back, I realized I’d been on the maximizer path ever since becoming a dad in 2008. After a tough year of sleep deprivation, I found myself ready to enter a new phase of life defined by deeper commitments and more goal-oriented behavior. In 2009 I started this blog, started writing fiction, cut out a few things that weren’t bringing much value to my life (DJing, videogames), and committed to higher standards and better decisions for myself.

Starting in 2013 I took a harder look at my activities and commitments, using the “Hell yeah or no” criteria from Derek Sivers. I also asked and answered questions about each activity area (consulting work, writing fiction, running a music label, producing music, blogging, etc.), including:

  • Why do it?
  • How does it relate to my life purpose?
  • What’s the main objective?
  • What are the “traps” to avoid?

In 2015 I raised my game even more, committing to more writing time and more music studio time (some of the results I will be publishing in 2016).

So yes — it feels good to push, to become more of a maximizer, to raise my work output and raise my standards and contribute and create as much as possible while I’m alive on this planet (which will hopefully be a very long time). Not that you should mistake me for a workaholic or overachiever — all my commitments and activities in total still leave me about half my waking hours remaining for unstructured free time (hanging out with family and friends, reading, gaming, playing sports, and the like). I have my freelance career and hard-earned investment wisdom to thank for that, as well as good luck in the life cards I drew at birth (U.S. citizen, middle-class, white male, able-bodied, no mental illness, etc.). I realize not everybody is playing this immersive game on easy mode. All the more reason that I should push myself and try to contribute more.

The Year Ahead

I’ll save my thoughts on 2016 for a new post early in the new year. I’ll probably combine that with a Metablog post to let you know what I’ll be writing about in 2016 (including an extreme lifestyle experiment).

I hope you have the opportunity to spend New Year’s Eve with friends and/or family. Stay alive, don’t lose your pants, and have a great time!

Thanks for reading this blog in 2015 and I wish you all the best in the year ahead.

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How to Accumulate (Non-Coercive) Power, Part I

As it turns out, the door to power isn’t even locked.

This post is a follow up to The Four Types of Power, in which I described different types of power, as follows:

  1. Tyrannical (Coercive, Zero-Sum)
    Ex. monopolies, unregulated financial markets
  2. Diabolical (Coercive, Non-Zero-Sum)
    Ex. slavery, colonialism, human trafficking, illegal tax havens, cons
  3. Competitive (Non-Coercive, Zero-Sum)
    Ex. sports, reasonably regulated economies, marketing/advertising
  4. Progressive (Non-Coercive, Non-Zero-Sum)
    Ex. invention, innovation, infrastructure, education, exploration, creating new markets, connectivity, information sharing

Why We Should Seek to be Uncomfortable

Bed of nails, state fair style.

It’s intuitive and natural to seek comfort.  We want to be warm, well-fed, among friends and family, doing things we enjoy, with money in the bank.  But those moments when we are uncomfortable give our lives meaning, force us to grow, keep us healthy, and make us think.  It’s not something we consider or celebrate very often, in our culture that values ease and feeling good.

What’s separates being uncomfortable from suffering?  Duration and choice.  Being uncomfortable for too long, or being uncomfortable against our will, can translate into suffering.  There’s a huge difference between being poor for a year and poor for a lifetime, or taking a vow of poverty vs. involuntary poverty.  There’s nothing glorious or redeeming about suffering.  But choosing to be uncomfortable for brief periods of time can make us stronger, more aware, and more alive.

There are plenty of shortcuts to health, wealth, and happiness, many of which I’ve discussed on this blog.  Eat foie gras for heart healthMake the easy choices that vastly improve your quality of life.  There’s no reason we shouldn’t do the easy things that make our lives better.  But there’s a risk of elevating ease and comfort, as values, above all else.

Cold dip.

Why should we celebrate being uncomfortable, and seek it out in our own lives?  Intense physical exertion is the most obvious answer; there are a multitude of benefits to short bursts of extreme physical activity (stronger muscles, denser bones, etc.).  Cold water is another physical example; a 5 minute cold shower can stimulate circulation, encourage fat loss, strengthen our immunity, and wake us up.  But there are less obvious examples as well.  Learning something difficult is uncomfortable.  The steeper the learning curve, the less comfortable we feel.  Prolonged intense concentration can feel uncomfortable.  So can unfamiliar social situations.  Emotional introspection can be intensely uncomfortable, as can some honest, heart-to-heart conversations.  Writing a big check to a charity can hurt a little.  But often, when we choose the more difficult path, it pays off.  We get stronger, we gain new skills, we meet new people, we deepen relationships, we complete difficult tasks, and we feel better about ourselves.

This is obvious, right?  So why don’t we ever hear the message that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable? It seems to be a kind of blind spot in U.S. culture.  Our country wasn’t founded on feeling good and living an easy life, so where did the culture of ease come from?  Maybe it’s an outgrowth of post-war consumerism, the culture-shift engineered to keep the booming, hyperactive wartime economy going.

The most insidious aspect of the culture of ease (remote controls, fast food, cup-holders, minivans, instant gratification, nonstop entertainment) is that it leads to chronic understimulation.  When we’re under-challenged, we get bored and seek distraction.  If we’re constantly drawn to addictive, unproductive behaviors (drinking, over-eating, TV watching, videogames, partying, etc.), then it’s usually a sign of too much comfort (and therefore boredom) in the rest of our lives.

Climbers on Mt. Fuji, either dead or napping.

The flip side of the same coin is the subculture of extreme discomfort.  Amateurs run marathons and climb mountains, injuring (or even killing) themselves in the process.  People drink only lemonade and salt water for a week, despite the lack of evidence that such a regimen benefits health in any way.  This kind of discomfort bingeing doesn’t do anyone any good.

Small, daily doses of self-imposed discomfort do more good.  Examples?  Choosing to bike instead of drive.  Eating less.  Listening to and considering thoughtful criticism (of our work and/or behavior).  Learning a new skill, even if it hurts your brain.  Working out.  Meditating.  Giving to charity.  Sometimes (though not always) the application of moderate self-discipline feels uncomfortable.

I’m not advocating stoicism or asceticism — I appreciate my creature comforts as much as anyone else.  But the insidious glorification of ease is a real cultural phenomenon, and it’s damaging.  I think it’s one reason the United States is falling behind in terms of education (though lack of school funding is another).  It’s one reason that, as a nation, we’re fat (though government subsidies of corn, sugar, and wheat are another).  For some reason there’s a prevailing idea that Americans can’t tolerate being uncomfortable (after 9/11, when citizens were ready to make sacrifices on behalf of our nation, George W. Bush told us to shop).

We don’t need to kill ourselves to be happy, but we can benefit from resisting the corporate and cultural messages of ease being the highest value.  It’s okay to feel uncomfortable.

The Joys of Throwing Out Long-term Plans and Lowering Quotas

This year, instead of making New Year’s resolutions or making a list of goals for the year (something I’d done since 2006, with mixed success), I decided to take on one big goal for Q1, and leave the rest of 2010 unplanned.

My planning/goal-setting horizon has been getting shorter and shorter over the years.  I remember having grand life-arc type plans in college, and even as a child.  Once I entered the working world and decided I that I basically liked what I was doing (having my own music business and doing freelance database consulting), the “future-vision” shrunk to two or three years, and finally to one year.

Why shorten my planning horizon to a mere 3 months?

A big part of it has to do with reading Tim Ferriss’s blog and, more recently, reading his book The Four Hour Workweek.  Ferriss makes the point that long-term plans often function as dream deferrals.  Why start something now if it’s on the agenda for 2015?  The problem is, it’s too easy to defer those large, difficult, potentially life-changing actions indefinitely, perhaps so long that we die before we try.  This is true even if the deferred plan of action is a central part of our identity.  I’ve been thinking of myself as novelist since approximately age six, but it took me another thirty-four years to actually write my first novel.  Talk about procrastination.  Anything you’ve been putting off for thirty-four years?

Already a novelist in his own mind.

There’s a natural tension between identity and intention; some parts of our identity evolve out of performing the related actions (if you play soccer enough, you might start to feel like a soccer player), while in other areas the identity and intention come into being first (a high-school student decides to become a doctor and starts planning their academic path).  The distinction has less to do with the profession than it does with the character of the agent.  You could just as easily decide at a young age to become a professional soccer player, or, in your adult life, fall into practicing medicine (perhaps a weak example — of course you can’t just start practicing medicine without a medical degree — but many people do learn a great deal about human physiology as a hobby and end up giving informal health advice to their friends and family).

It’s the intention-related parts of our identity that are vulnerable to deferral, as opposed to the professions that sneak up on us.  For myself, writing is in the former category; computer programming and music production are in the latter.  Who knows why.  What about you?

EASIER SAID THAN DONE

I decided to take on one big, potentially life-changing goal in Q1 of 2010, and that was to write a first draft of my second novel.  It’s a big enough goal to get me excited and motivated, and simple enough to keep in my head every day without constant review (if you have fifteen goals for the year, it’s hard to remember them all — not to mention that by August half of them are irrelevant).

At the same time, I threw out any preconceptions about what the latter three-quarters of 2010 might look like.  Maybe Kia and I and our daughter will spend a few months working remotely from somewhere on the Mediterranean coast (I recently ran the numbers, this option could potentially be less expensive than our current lifestyle, especially if we can get in on some of that free European pre-school — you parents of young children living in the Bay Area know what I’m talking about).  Or, depending on the availability of Spesh or Mark Musselman, maybe there will be a new Jondi & Spesh or Momu album in the works.  In any case it’s exhilarating not knowing.

So — back to my grand plan.  I came up with what I thought was a fail-safe strategy to bang out novel #2.  I whipped out (or rather, clicked on) my digital calculator and figured out approximately how many words I would need to type every day in order to have a more-or-less novel length manuscript on my hard drive by March 31st.  I gave myself weekends off, as we don’t generally have childcare on the weekends (you try writing a novel while a two-year-old is clambering onto your lap demanding to look at pictures of choo-choo trains on your computer) and also planned on taking several “creative sabbatical” weeks where all I would do was write.

1150 words per day, on the regular working days.  That’s what the calculator said.  Okay, no problem.  My work was cut out for me.  Here’s what the first few writing days in January looked like, in terms of actual output:

Day 1: 297 words
Day 2: 402 words
Day 3: 351 words

Ouch.

I wasn’t spending eight hours each day in front of the laptop — nor was this ever the plan.  I still needed to eat, after all, and running Loöq Records takes some time.  I was hoping to hit my quota after two or three hours of focused work, first thing in the morning.

I liked the material I was coming up with, but at this rate it would take me all year to get a draft.  I kept thinking of Stephen King’s observation that after three months, “the story begins to take on an odd foreign feel, like a dispatch from the Romanian Department of Public Affairs, or something broadcast on high-band shortwave radio during a period of severe sunspot activity.” Nope, don’t want that to happen.

It was my favorite goofy-hat-wearing vloggers, Tim Ferriss (again) and Kevin Rose, that came to the rescue, with this video post.  It’s long and (as the title warns) random, but somewhere towards the end Tim makes a reference to a story of how IBM achieved the highest sales by setting the lowest quotas.  The idea was to boost productivity by removing pressure, and in IBM’s case it worked.  Tim Ferriss is currently applying the low quota idea to his own writing project, with the goal of writing “two crappy pages a day.”

That sounded good to me.  I needed less pressure.  The 1150 word quota was looming over me every morning like a flying Nazgûl.  I reduced my quota to 750 words a day.  The next two days my word counts were as follows:

Day 1: 1147 words
Day 2: 1120 words

Go figure.  This was just two days ago, so we’ll see if the trend continues, but at the moment I’m feeling the lower quota.  I think the point of a quota is to get one’s ass in gear, and to have a minimum standard of productivity.  Quality is more important than quantity, but you can’t get to quality unless you produce something. Ideally, you get started and catch a wave, you achieve flow … then you hit your goal before you know it.  But for me having a quota is useful; it’s a guardian against sloth and inertia.

Did Rodin have a sculpting quota?

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