sci-fi author, beatmaker

Some Personal Updates, and a Request

Unrelated to the post, but Bumblebee was parked in front of my house yesterday.

I got back from my uncle’s funeral service a few hours ago. It was belated for various reasons — he died over a year ago — but the service was well-attended, in a beautiful location, and I feel as if we did right by him.

Both my father-in-law and my uncle passed away around the same time last year. For a few months my stress levels redlined and I had difficulty sleeping, but after I’d had a chance to grieve and the bulk of the end-of-life logistics were handled for both family members, I settled into a more reflective state. It’s been good to consider my own mortality, and the mortality of my friends and family. It’s easier to prioritize what’s important when I consider the relative imminence and unavoidability of death. I frequently let my family and friends know that I love them, I work on my big ideas, and I do the things I would regret not doing were my life to be cut short.

But I hope that my life continues for a very long time, because I’m enjoying it immensely. In terms of external life metrics such as finances and career, I’m doing fine, but what’s really making me happy are the following:

  • Everyone in my family is getting along well (most of the time), which reduces stress and increases bonding. Oxytocin levels are high!
  • My exercise, nutrition, and supplements are dialed in. I’m a little heavier than I’d like to be, but I’m probably the strongest and in the best cardiovascular shape than I’ve ever been, due to racquetball, bicycling, and weight-lifting. All that exercise is great for my mood and overall sense of well-being.
  • I’m playing D&D about twice a week. I haven’t played that much ever — not even when I first got into the game over thirty years ago. There’s a thriving community of 5e players in the East Bay, and I’m having a blast both running games and playing in other people’s homebrew campaigns.

So yeah, I’m going to keep working toward the various career goals I’ve set for myself, but with the knowledge that even wild success will only boost my happiness and fulfillment so much. The formula that works for me is based on health, relationships, and playing games and sports. Meaningful work is important too, as is creating art, as is some degree of artistic success in the form of sales, awards, and/or the respect of my peers. But it’s freeing to accept that my basic formula is simple and easy to follow, and that I don’t need to wait for any kind of external validation or bank account level before I allow myself to be happy.

Of course that formula could (and probably will) change over time. But over the past decades it hasn’t changed that much.

So What Am I Working On?

Writing

I’ve started taking notes for my final revision of The Guardian, based on notes from my editor (Don D’Auria at Flame Tree Press). The Guardian is the sequel to The Sky Woman in my Reclaimed Earth series. I’ve received a copy of the cover, which is fantastic (I’ll reveal it sometime this summer). The Guardian is due out in September.

I’ve just finished the first draft of my new science-fiction novel The Savior Virus. Kia (always my first reader) is about halfway through. I’m printing it out in 100-page chunks, and she keeps asking for the next chunk, so that’s a good sign.

I’m excited to get back to some short fiction too, and I have some screenplay/teleplay ideas I’d like to explore as well.

Music

Our new sample-heavy album.

Making and publishing music is mostly a hobby these days, so I was happily surprised to see my latest studio album with Mark Musselman reach #14 in Beatport’s Breaks chart. Granted, that chart position probably doesn’t represent a huge number of sales, but it’s good for my ego to still feel relevant after so many years in the music game. Watching music production videos on youtube, I’m consistently amazed by how many talented young producers there are, and the depth of understanding these kids have of music theory, mixing and mastering, sequencing and arranging, and synthesis/patch creation techniques just boggles my mind. When I was twenty it took me six months to learn how to run a MIDI signal from my MacPlus to my Roland D70 keyboard. We really live in an age of accelerated learning (in large part thanks to youtube), and that rocks.

If you enjoy electronic music, please consider purchasing my album MOVE on Beatport. A few more sales could kick us into the Top 10/front page of Breaks, and expose us to thousand more potential customers. That’s my big ask!

Struggles

Even when things are going great, life always presents problems, and my life is no exception. I’m grateful that my problems are all minor and manageable at the moment, but I’m going to air my own laundry to present a more accurate picture of my life, and to avoid the Instagram/polished life effect (even though I’m writing words and not posting pictures).

  • My freelance consulting work has slowed down considerably. I’m making enough money to live on, but not saving nearly as much as I’d like. My current strategy is to spend a short time each day developing new coding skills (currently I’m focussed on Salesforce-related skills as I have connections to Salesforce consulting groups). The new learning curve could take a long time to pay off, but at the moment the financial pressure is manageable. A bestselling novel or album could change my life and make this concern irrelevant, but that’s something that’s beyond my control.
  • I still don’t have an agent. I haven’t been looking, since I already have a publisher I’m happy with, but I know having a great agent could help immensely with career development, licensing deals, and the like. I’m going to the Nebula conference in May — maybe I’ll meet someone there.

That’s it as the moment. My physical health is not perfect but it’s better than it has been in years, so my minor complaints don’t even make the list. Same with mood issues — lately I’ve just been feeling happy and resilient for the reasons listed above. So I guess this is mostly a gratitude post.

I hope you’re also feeling blessed and in good spirits. Let me know how your life is going in the comments, both the good and the bad. I’ll respond to everybody.

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5 Comments

  1. Mary

    Hey JD! Love the new album! I love the range – every song is unique. I usually listen to music through Spotify – not sure how to listen to your album except through Beatport on my computer… any suggestions? I’ve been dabbling in garage band lately (so much fun!) and also write songs and play piano/guitar. But funny enough I found your posts when researching vitamin D a while back. I am also in Bay Area (south bay). Thanks for sharing little pieces of your life. 🙂

  2. I’ve often said to people that the way to really live is to die. The passport to living is to imagine yourself in your grave. Imagine that you’re lying in your coffin. Any posture you like. In India we put them in cross-legged. Sometimes they’re carried that way to the burning ground. Sometimes, though, they’re lying flat. So imagine you’re lying flat and you’re dead. Now look at your problems from that viewpoint. Changes everything, doesn’t it?

    What a lovely, lovely meditation. Do it every day if you have the time. It’s unbelievable, but you’ll come alive. I have a meditation about that in a book of mine, Wellsprings. You see the body decomposing, then bones, then dust. Every time I talk about this, people say, “How disgusting”! But what’s so disgusting about it? It’s reality, for heaven’s sake. But many of you don’t want to see reality. You don’t want to think of death. People don’t live, most of you, you don’t live, you’re just keeping the body alive. That’s not life. You’re not living until it doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn to you whether you live or die. — Anthony de Mello, Awareness

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