science fiction author, beatmaker, against fascism

Category: Personal Updates Page 6 of 11

My Anti-Aging Experiment

Finnish sauna (not mine)

My health has suffered ever since Trump was elected. Maybe it’s coincidental, but 2017 was one of my worst health years. My foot was in a cast, I got a staph infection, I suffered from severe hay fever/allergies, gastritis (and possibly ulcers), anxiety and depression, and in the first months of 2018 I had terrible insomnia and gained about ten pounds.

Of course Trump didn’t cause my health issues directly, but the background stress of witnessing a full-blown kleptocracy in action, slowly and surely dismantling health care, environmental protections, and civil rights certainly didn’t improve my health. The additional stress may have been the tipping point, combined with my overcaffeinated lifestyle, too many commitments and responsibilities, genetic vulnerabilities, and simple aging, that flipped me from good health to poor health for a period of time.

What I’ve Been Up To (and what I’ll be blogging about in the coming months)

“Starship 44” by Robin Boer

Hello readers!

These past weeks have been full. I won’t say I’ve been “busy” or that things have been “hectic” because that’s not true–I’ve chosen the tortoise pace for this year and I’ve been sticking to that plan fairly effectively. I’m cramming less in each day, and that’s working for me. But even so, there hasn’t been a dull moment.

Plan Your Whole Life

Rock solid.

It’s futile to plan your whole life. Nobody’s life goes according to plan.

Q: How to make God laugh? 
A: Make a plan.

But it’s also futile not to.

I deleted a blog post yesterday. It was all about how I’ve been sleeping better (which is generally true), and what’s been working for me (getting more bright light in the morning, some EFT techniques, herbs to reduce cortisol, calcium+magnesium, and so on). I’d written the post after sleeping a perfect seven hours without waking up at all (without any sleeping pills or megadoses of vitamins). I thought I was over the worst of my sleeping issues.

But then the night before last I didn’t sleep at all. Not a wink. Aside from a late dinner and staying up a bit too late watching Netflix (with f.lux and my amber glasses), I’m not sure what I did differently.

Emotionally Blocked

Lately I’ve been feeling shut-down and uncreative. It’s a feeling similar to depression, but my mood and energy have been reasonably good, despite my recent sleep troubles. I think I’m a little numb because it’s easier to be numb than to feel all the feelings. Losing my father-in-law and my uncle in the same week was rough, and of course my wife and daughter are grieving too. We’re all trying to hold it together and keep doing the things in life that need doing, but also process difficult emotions at the same time.

A Good Life Is Made of Small Things

My father-in-law is dying. He most likely has only weeks to live. As dying goes, he’s doing it really well, surrounded by loved ones, with good professional home-hospice care. He’s a renowned poet and translator, well respected, loved by hundreds if not thousands of students, ex-students, colleagues, friends, and family. He’s lived a full, uncompromising life, and was lucky enough to fall deeply in love, once again, in the last few months. The house where he’s staying, in the Berkeley hills, has a stupendous view of the bay. He’s cogent, self-aware, and taking on this final challenge with grace, courage, and an open heart.

The situation has made me think about what’s important in life. That’s something I think about a lot, but now more so than ever.

Page 6 of 11

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